An Interview With Vanessa Morcom
Medium.com
In today’s fast-paced business world, women in executive roles face the unique challenge of balancing high-powered careers with the demands of motherhood. Despite progress in workplace equality, female executives often carry a disproportionate share of domestic responsibilities. How do these successful women manage both spheres of their lives so effectively? In this interview series, we would like to explore this intricate balance and we are talking to women executives from various industries who are also mothers, to share their insights and strategies for successfully juggling their professional and personal lives. As a part of this series, we had the pleasure of interviewing Jessica Beeson Tocco.
Jessica Beeson Tocco is a mother of two and the Chief Executive Officer of the nation’s largest woman-owned lobbying firm, A10 Associates. The firm is active in 36 states, bi-partisan, and works at the state, local and federal levels on issues related to technology, transportation, and infrastructure. When Jessica is not juggling at least 30 clients and 20 employes or consultants, she is an active parent who runs kids to basketball or soccer, travels with them, and creates memorable experiences.
Thank you so much for joining us! Can you tell us the “backstory” behind what brought you to this point in your career?
I began A10 Associates because the lobbying world was not built for mothers. After becoming a young mother at my prior firm, I was the first one to breast pump in the office and sneak my baby in to hide her under the desk when she had too much colic to stay at daycare.
When my children were 2 and 4 years old, I realized that the only way to create a work-life balance in my profession would be to start my own firm. So that is exactly what I did. I filled my firm with mothers, gave three months paid maternity leave, and saw the intangible and tangible benefits that manifest when you offer your female employees tangible benefits and opportunities to support their families!
Can you share with us how many children you have?
I have 2 children, a 10-year-old daughter and an 8-year-old son.
Where were you in your career when your child was born/became part of your family?
I was a Vice President at a lobbying firm in Boston, climbing the corporate ladder.
Did you always want to be a mother? Can you explain?
Of course I did, but the first newborn I ever held was my own.
Did motherhood happen when you thought it would or did it take longer? If it took longer, what advice would you have for another woman in your shoes?
Yes and no. My first baby came right away, easily conceived, born a few weeks early, and a 3-hour pregnancy! Unfortunately, less than one year later I had a miscarriage and lost a baby girl. The grief was unimaginable.
We kept trying and two years after my daughter was born, I was blessed with my son, Mario. He was born almost three weeks late and at 10 pounds!
Can you tell us a bit about what your day-to-day schedule looks like?
The way I manage work and my children is that I moved my office out of the city next to my children’s school. This way, when I am not traveling, I can drop the kids at school by 7:30 am, settle in the office by 8 am, and pick them back up at 3 pm. Usually, we have a few hours of sports and then dinner, bedtime, and homework. Then I go back to work from home between 9 pm to 1 am. In fact, I finished this interview at midnight!
Has being a parent changed your career path? Can you explain?
Being a parent forced me to look for more flexible options and to break out of a 9–5 lifestyle so that I could help my children with activities. It has also made me much more patient and understanding of others… which has made me a better lobbyist and overall leader.
Has being a mother made you better at your job? How so?
Being a mother has given me a new and deeper sense of kindness and empathy. It has taught me what really matters, made me more nurturing, and helped me to appreciate things more at work and in life.
What are the biggest challenges you face being a working mom?
Mom guilt. Ugh. I constantly feel guilty for working even though it is what I must do to put food on the table. I question whether mistakes or problems arise because I work. I constantly must reinforce to myself every way possible that it okay to work and that I am doing what is best for my children.
Are there any stories you remember from the early days of parenthood that you want to share?
So many stories but one had a formidable impact on my life. When I came back from parental leave, I had to go to Capitol Hill in Washington, DC. My baby Josephine had colic and would only drink breast milk.
One day I was hiding in a bathroom at the Capitol, trying to pump milk before flying home. If you can believe it, they did not have pumping areas back then. A U.S. Senator knocked on the bathroom door and asked me what I was doing. Bursting into tears, I told her I was trying to pump, had only had 8-weeks home with my baby who had colic, and that I hadn’t slept in days. She immediately took me back to her office to pump, pushed for new pumping areas to be established, and we are still friends to this day!
Are there any meaningful activities or traditions you’ve made up or implemented that have enhanced your time with your family? Can you share a story or example?
With both children, I lay in their bed at night and read stories and talk. That is their special time to be alone with me and share. Also, both children are involved in my company. My daughter is the de facto office manager, and they both make art and motivational quotes for my employees. They have had White House and Capitol Tours and so many special experiences because of being part of Mommy’s job!
We all live in a world with many deadlines and incessant demands for our time and attention. That inevitably makes us feel rushed and we may feel that we can’t spare the time to be “fully present” with our children. Can you share with our readers 5 strategies about how we can create more space in our lives in order to give our children more quality attention?
- Put your phone away!! I do not use my cell phone when I am focused on the children!
- Snuggle as much as possible as long while you can. One day, they will be too old for it!
- Cook together. It is productive, like playing with edible playdough, and a wonderful way to teach them and unwind.
- Read together. This makes it impossible to work or take a phone call. I read books with my kids that are non-fiction so that we can learn together! Great Battles for Boys is my favorite series, and it is great to learn along with him.
- If you absolutely cannot take a break or create space and there is an emergency at work — be honest and transparent. Let the kids be involved and help in some way, even if it is a big hug. My kids love to give work advice.
How do you inspire your child to “dream big”? Can you give an example or story?
I tell my kids that you cannot always be the best naturally, but you can always control how hard you work and be the hardest worker. Last year, my oldest daughter was cut from club soccer… she was the only one of her friends to get cut. We found another club team and she worked her way to the top team in less than a year. Recently, she was offered multiple opportunities to be the goalie on pre-national teams in the area. Coaches told us that it was because she had the best attitude, was the hardest worker, and showed the most improvement.
How do you define success in both your career and your family life, and how has this definition evolved over time?
Spending time with the children and making sure they know you love them. Nothing matters to me beyond that. All the money, success, and achievement doesn’t matter if those two babies don’t feel loved. Recently, I made a choice to spend the summer at home with minimal travel just for them. As a result, my employees are more empowered and motivated, and the kids’ attitudes have improved by miles. Putting your kids first is never wrong.
What are your favorite books, podcasts, or resources that inspire you to be a better parent? Can you explain why you like them?
I like to read Jack Welch (former GE CEO) leadership books. What Welch does is discuss how you should empower others to do what they are good at versus try to put square pegs in round holes. This has helped me as a mother to empower my kids to do their best and focus on their strengths, not their weaknesses.
Can you please give us your favorite “Life Lesson Quote” that you share or plan to share with your kids?
I tell both my kids and employees that they must be kind, tell the truth, and do their best. I also tell them that no matter what happens, if they do those three things it will be okay. They will fail, I will fail, but if we do those three things, it will all be okay.
If you could sit down with every new parent and offer life hacks, must-have products, or simple advice, what would be on your list?
- Sleep when you can, as much as you can
- If you do not care for yourself, you cannot care for others
- Surround yourself with friends who love you and do not judge you
- Find a career that you love enough to show your kids happiness and fulfillment
- Thank you so much for these insights! We really appreciate your time.
Read the full interview at Medium.com
